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Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Numbing Pressure

Aching all over, overwhelmingly tired, body and mind. I suppose the worst thing is not really having a definite "good" scenario to look forward to after the storm passes. Feeling directionless has always been a problem with me. Remaining (somewhat) calm, nevertheless. Or at least pretending to, with all the anger brooding deep down inside.

Feel like saddling my bike and just get off. Certain to be a mistake as a) it's damn hot outside and b) I've been drained of nearly all my body strength, and bike has pedals and stuff. On the other hand, it's probably not too hot for too long now and the sheer fact of breathing fresh air invigorates me already. Might try to get away from the office at 5pm tops and see how this goes.

Daniela has the SHE board meeting tonight and I don't know what I want to do. I'll probably still be drained by then and don't even feel like play poker - don't have much balance to anyway. Reading or watching a film are options, but will probably just drift off to sleep either way. Drinking myself to sleep is also an option, albeit a tragic one which must and will be avoided.

Speaking of books, I wonder if there will ever come a time when I make good on the promise of reading my entire backlog of 100 or so new books. It's certain to take some 2 or 3 years for sure, but I'm positive I'd feel so good about it. I obviously no longer know what it feels like going out to buy books because there's nothing else left to read anew.

Really hoping to make it to the Wormrot/Maruta gig tomorrow night at Side B in Benavente. Atentado are playing too, and I've been meaning to see them for ages now. Hugo, RSA, JCS and JMR will probably all be there too and it's guaranteed to be a hell of a good time too. I'm also longing for the lone road trip, which despite being a little short side is definitely longer than anything I've done in a damn long time.

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Always an ace on the river.